Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

This story in the Onion is too good to pass up: Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In 

 Some highlights:

A panel of top business leaders testified before Congress about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble in which to invest.

Congress is currently considering an emergency economic-stimulus measure, tentatively called the Bubble Act, which would order the Federal Reserve to begin encouraging massive private investment in some fantastical financial scheme in order to get the nation’s false economy back on track.

“Every American family deserves a false sense of security,” said Chris Reppto, a risk analyst for Citigroup in New York. “Once we have a bubble to provide a fragile foundation, we can begin building pyramid scheme on top of pyramid scheme, and before we know it, the financial situation will return to normal.”

“America needs another bubble,” said Chicago investor Bob Taiken. “At this point, bubbles are the only thing keeping us afloat.”

This article was published on July 14, 2008. The Bubble Act must not have had much support in Congress because instead of trying to encourage private investment, Congress is now trying to use public funds to support the bubble.